Yahya Admits Iranian Acts of War Against U.S.

   Well, he’s a smart little camel humper isn’t he?  Yahya Rahim Safavi,  The Leader of the Iranian Revolutionary Gaurds admitted to arming insurgents in Iraq today in a local Teheran Paper.  Since it wasn’t in the official state censored papers it was apparently propoganda aimed at the Iranian people, but was never the less an admission of guilt.  I personally have no problem with the Iranians involving themselves in the conflict, but feel they should be targeted for their involvement.

   The Iranian Revolutionary Guard is an extra-military organization outside the scope of Iran’s military.  They have their own leadership cadre and their own land, sea, and air forces.  They also have  the WMD program in Iran, and the Iranian surface to surface missile assets under their control.  Claims that they are part of the states military organization are absurd.  They are the enforcement arm of a rogue government that has been known to be a sanctioner of terrorism.

   The only thing Yahya’s (love the name) “recent successes” comment could be alluding to is their interference in the Iraq War, which is an admission of guilt.  No problem, but I bet the politicians that keep denying involvement are unhappy.

   While this is an open admission of aggresssion against the United States, it is not a declaration of war.  That would have to come from the Coward Ahmadinejad, and he’s to busy trying on womens clothes to find the time to contemplate an announcement.

war…stupidity…etc

(some profanity)  I’ve been sort of drifting lately, no real rhyme nor reason to the progression of life as I know it, and i find it to be an enjoyable interlude.  Actually, me with purpose is probably the interlude, but I’ll tell my lies the way I like them. Other than raising the kiddoes I don’t get real worked up about anything, and the whole blog thing has been a real laughfest for me.  The singlemindedness I see here is a wonderful counter to my chaotic nature, and there are just enough free will types to keep me from getting overly bored.

Ok, that was the extraneous bullshit paragraph.  i’m thinking there will be several more of those, so if you seek content there’s *points* the door.  I’m a bit of a history buff.  Not one of those bookish coffee drinking stay up till three a.m running through the lists of civil war casualties types, but more one who likes to read about it, and visualize the things the way they must have been.  In other words, it’s not clinical for me, rather more entertainment.  I can get totally engrossed in how the people in stalingrad were living through those 900 + days of seige, but couldn’t care less how many boots the german army went through.

   History has taught us all we will ever need to know about civilization, warfare, and the failings of reason.  I’m almost certain that the only thing more ridiculous than the practice of warfare is the practice of humane warfare.  Wars can be fought and won, and then if you are the winner you get to write about how just your cause was, and how brave your armies fought.  If you practice humane warfare you never get to write those history books.

   This is why America shouldn’t fight war.  We, in essence, are pussies.  Maybe not everybody, but certainly an overwhelming majority of society.   We enter into wars with justification, and then spend our time trying to explain why we did it to the hand-wringing spectators and disloyal opposition.  The current wars are a very good case study on what a bunch of shit for brains we elect for leaders, and what a bunch of assmunching dickheads are those who enjoy the fruits of liberty, but are never willing to let others succeed while paying the cost to keep them free.

The war on terror –  that lunatic osama reared his ugly head again.  Only for a minute on a 40 minute tape, but he did it.  It could be from anywhere and any when, but that really doesn’t matter.  what matters is because we spend all our time trying to please the weakest amongst us, the strong have failed in their mission.  Like it or not, we should have gone in annihilated every living thing within 50 miles of that worthless cocksucker, because that is what he would do if the situations were reversed.  We should have made sure there was a nice cozy spot in hell filled with his miserable carcass, and then we should have moved onto his followers, cutting a swath across the middleast and southwest asia that the world would never forget.  Sounds deranged, but if you want him, its the only way to get him.

   As far as all those who think the war in Iraq shouldn’t have happened… I am with you.  However, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t justified.  Just as Cuba had every justification to attack America when our government tried to have Castro assassinated, we had every right to attack Iraq when Saddam tried to have our president assassinated.  Assassination has always been justification for wasr.  I’m almost certain thats what started world war I.  You might say well it would have been foolhardy for Cuba to attack us.  So?  War is always foolhardy.  Tough shit says I. 

  Again though  we did it wrong.  We should have set every weapon we had on terminate, and turned the dump into a parking lot.  Wars are not won humanely, and shouldn’t be fought that way.  Instead we occupy the territory, and try to be humane, and just.  We sit on our collective asses long enough to let the terrorists get their shit together, and our children start coming home in boxes.  Not even a lot of boxes.  Just a few, but its enough to turn this cowardly society of ours into a gelatinous mass of quivering outrage.  the war between the states would have been still going on had it been fought this way, and seig heil would be in common usage in Iowa had the second world war been.

I am not a fan of war.  I think in a lot of cases they exist as a form of violent population control.  If you don’t think so work out a matrix as to what the world population would be today had WWII not happened.  It’s kind of scary.  I’d give you my numbers, but i suck at math so they are probably wrong.  Starvation would be an issue, especially since in our incredibly enlightened society genetic engineering designed to increase food production is baaaaaaaad.  diseases, overcrowding, unemployment, forced birth control…would all be issues.  War’s only true good purpose is to prevent overcrowding…how sick is that?

anyway, this has been my manifesto on what a bunch of pussified anti- warmongers we are.  It could go on ponderously for hours, but I’m bored with it, and was just heading into waste my breath mode…in closing I’d like to say that civilization is a myth.  We wear the clothes, and invent the toys, but inside you and I will always be savages.  It’s in our nature.

Dad, can I join the military?

     I  know its unpopular to say, but most people in America we’re hoisting the flag, and rattling there sabres when we went off to bash the heathen muslims. I wasn’t. It wasn’t out of some humanitarian hand wringing impulse, but self serving as hell. I have a son that was 13, and I knew, yes knew, that we would still be there when he turned 18. Which happens soon.Today that son asked me how I felt about him joining the military. It seems the pied pipers of bloodshed and gore were at his school. I don’t have any particular problems with recruiters, except they talk about college tuition, exciting travel opportunities, and not the incredible drudgery of garrison life, or the horrific trauma of their stock in trade. Thats called salesmanship, and hearkening back to my last post, well, for lack of a more accurate description,disingenuous.

So I sat and discussed it with my eldest progeny. I explained what a green stick fracture was, and how to apply a tourniquet to what remains of the leg of your best friend. I waxed nostalgic about the sound a bullet makes as it pierces the flesh of a human being lying next to you, or the pitiful moans a grown man makes when he knows he’s hit bad and isn’t going to make it. Not the “tell susie I love her crap” but the begging, pleading, making deals with god if your able to speak reality of it. I didn’t mince words with him, as he’s almost a grown man, and i confess the description of the smell of a 3 day old corpse covered with dried feces, and urine, and blood and shredded into something that didn’t really resemble a human corpse at all was not proper pre-dinnertime conversation.

Unfortunately it was all lost on him. As were the descriptions of the sounds of screaming and explosions, the raw terror of that near miss buzzing sound, or the agony that folllows being waxed by a hand grenade. The fact is he is a man, and men for whatever reason have this urge to run to the sound of the bugle.

All over the world people are fielding that same stupid question from their children, or picking up the remains of children that asked it last year. I’m sure smart people can explain in detail how its instinctual and dates back to when we were writing on cave walls; this desire to go out and conquer our fellow man. I’m not one of them. The only explanation I have for it is that the ignorant often make bad choices, and war seems a hell of a lot more glorious when you watch it on tv than when you’re wiping the shit off you after you luck out and don’t die when it all goes horribly wrong.

and it always does.sooner or later.

    If you don’t wish to have this conversation with your children, exercise your right to vote.  All of the democratic candidates, and at least one Republican (Ron Paul), have pledged to end the war.  Of course they only said one war.  We have several that we’re involved in.

rethefted

yuck.  I apologize to those of you she named.  I can do no more than that.  I’ll not honor the rest of it with any comment, but i did steal my stuff back

what these people aren’t.

Ron Paul…he isn’t a libertarian.  i could go into all the reasons why, but then you wouldn’t go to http://vote-smart.org and make up your own mind.

Ann Coulter…stupid.  She has found a niche that made her rich, and all she had to do was be nasty.  I can be nasty.  Of course I don’t have that horse-faced inbred look.

Mike Moore…a journalist.  but his new documentary sicko has enough truth in it to make it worth the view, just like all his documentaries.  Now its true I wouldn’t put him out if he was burning, but he still manages to catch my attention.

Sean Hannity…a pragmatist.  Given a chance to appeal to the decent sensibilities of intelligent people, Sean would pass and continue to preach to the choir with his nitwit vitriolic warmongering.  Face it Sean, if it wasn’t for my boy Alan (god what a geek) Colmes you’d be just another pasty faced Irish conservative talking on the radio.

George Bush…a bad guy.  You can hate him all you want.  You can think he’s stupid.  But do you really down in your heart after watching the guy think that he has ill intent?  I can see where he might be a little to easily led by the people he trusts, but I think ol George is as decent a man as has ever been president.  Remember Jimmy Carter? he was a decent guy.  shitty president.  Just like George.

Paris Hilton…she just isn’t.  Her 30 to 50 million future inheritance is real.  The cameras that chase her around are real.  The idiots that make her the star of their daily quest for titillation are real.  Turn off the camera’s though and Paris disappears…completely.

Hillary Clinton…a liberal.  Hillary Clinton is a politician par excellance.  She would bang every ungulate from here to poughkeepsie if the bestiality vote would get her made president.  Remember Bill? Stone cold liberal till he got elected.  Then he became moderate Bill pushing through the Republican agenda like no conservative president ever has.  Hillary is cut from the same cloth.  Its why they hate each other.

Al Sharpton…a man of god.   A man of god would work to bring people together under the lord.  Al Sharpton is s your typical for us by us black preacher.  Tawanda Brawley leaps to mind.  For those of you to young to remember her, she is why Al Sharpton stayed out of the Duke lacrosse team rape case.

Martha Stewart: dumb or weak.  This woman is as popular as she ever was with the middle class.  This after an insider trading scandal that made her look like a have greedily succumbing to the temptation to take advantage of her position in life.  Normally this would have her burned in effigy, instead, she’s who all the little Rachel Ray’s wanna be when they grow up.

Wolf Blitzer….a Wolf.  This boy is as sheep as it gets…. CNN has a ring in his nose and a finger up his a..   you know what I’m talking about.  This guy couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the “c” and the “t” without some exec at CNN coaching him first

that’s what they aren’t… I couldn’t begin to guess what they are.

 

Talents

    About the only difference between today and every other weekday is that for some unknown reason I did a 180 on the way to the bathroom upon rising.  This confused the hell out of mollie the mooch.  Not really knowing what to do the poor pooch did what she does when she’s confused and sat down.  Roscoe, perpetually bringing up the rear in our little love caravan failed to notice my abrupt change of direction, and failed to yield.  This created the hilarious for me, disconcerting for mollie, and intolerable for roscoe result of Mollie sitting on Roscoe’s head.  I can’t really tell you in words, but seeing a cockerpoodle with a rabbit thrashing around in its butt is a vision that every day should start with.

    On to talents.  Do you have one? Wanna share?  I do.  Have one.  I’m sharing because I didn’t feel like playing poker, and its to hot to do anything that is not incredibly sedentary.   My talent is I’m a prick.  I can annoy a person in 15 seconds or less, piss em off in under a minute, and have them in a spittle flying apopleptic rage in well under 10.

     This doesn’t pay well as talents go.  I mean, its not getting loot like a Vincent Van Gogh original, but he was dead before the cashola started to flow.  Its not drawing pay like a fortune 500 executive either, but it has good bennies.   People are always incredibly fun to watch.  They will do the damnedest things if they think no one is looking.    Mad though, upset, annoyed; then they are at their finest.

    There is really no joy in life like watching a normally calm, sane human being completely losing their cool over a few words.  I don’t do anything else.  It’s not really all that iunteractive a sport.  Just speak and watch the games begin.  The reason I’m good at it is really quite simple.  It’s easy. 

   People lack self control.  They are so used to having things go the way that they want; when faced with anything out of the ordinary they become first defensive, then offensive, and then downright assinine.  i love it.  Its better than sex with a monkey.

    There are several gambits to the game.  Its not chess mind you, but maybe conversationally instigative checkers.  My favorite is to be over nice.  I’m not sure why this one works so well, but if their is one thing folks can’t stand its someone being nice to them.  I mean real nice.  I mean ass kissing, brown nosing, sycophantically nice.  This probably only works for me because it makes people wonder whats coming.  I’m so rarely nice to anyone outside of my household that it gives people the creeps when I am.

    Another one is to agree with everything someone says, and repeat it like its wisdom from the almighty.  This one performs well at work.  Unless you work with a closet insecurity freak that acts like an egomaniac.  They love this. 

    One I used just yesterday is maybe the easiest to get the opportunity to use.  Find some pompous windbag that’s obviously overly fond of him/herself, and just make observations about their character.  Nothing extreme mind.  Just point out how insecure they seem.  That sort of thing.  I had The vindictive bastard.wordpress.com so mad i know it took a bottle of windex to clean his screen.  Tormenting the obnoxious is fun.  Tormenting the semi-literate obnoxious is what makes life worth living.

   My book how to torment others is available for the low low price of $14.95 at all your better bookstores. 

Sunday is for random thoughts

1.  I’m pretty sure the reason alcoholism is a rampant sickness in our society is because it makes human interaction almost tolerable.

2.   Albania likes us.   That being the case it makes it real easy to wonder what the hell is wrong with the rest of Europe.  My vote is jealousy.  Na na na na boo boo.  You don’t like us because you want to be us.  You want to shower more than once a week.  You want to brush your teeth.   You want to have leaders that aren’t deviants, retards, and criminals.  Well, so do we on that last one.

3.  Congress has the effrontery to tell me that I need a 700 odd mile fence on my  over 1500 mile southern border.   Ok, so build a fence to keep your dog in.   Leave several gaps in it.  does it work?  How can you not chuckle?

4.  Gun control is the one issue I think I can have an impact on so pay attention.  Get a good sight picture.  Breathe in….release the breath and squeeze (don’t pull) the trigger.  I have now done my part on one of the great issues facing our society.  Use it in good health.

5.   My dog is fat, fluffy, and lazy.  She makes me get up at odd hours to take her out to relieve herself.  She barks incessantly when i’m not home which makes the neighbors complain.   She follows me literally everywhere.  you can’t divorce your dog, but I did get rid of a wife that behaved almost exactly the same way.

6.   To all you sullen Ron Paul fans that come, read, and leave pissed off because I think he looks like Henry Gibson, or has the people skills of Elmer Fudd.  Get over it.  I’m just being a jilted fan.  His stance on imperialism is right on, but he is not as so many of you like to say….a libertarian.  Go to vote-smart. org, and read up on your diminutive dynamo.  The man is at least 7 turnips shy of a truckload.

7.  Breakfast is by far the most important meal of the day.  Today I had a cuba libre’ and some cheese popcorn.  I feel like a million bucks.  Well, like 32 bucks and some change, but thats progress.

8.   Nascar has a rain delay for the second week in a row.  Ted does not like nascar.  Ted does not like anything.  Ted is a spoiled rotten omnipotent brat, and should be excoriated in all the newspapers of the land.  Its good to be irreverant on Sunday.  Its a day of rest, and their is nothing more restful than twisting the tail of the created by man creator.

9.  Love is a four letter word that is defined   “someone else doing things exactly the way you want them to.”

I can live without it.

10.    If the French have finally realized that socialism is an invalid theory, and they have judging by the conservative landslide in their parliamentary elections, does that mean we can now put that baby to bed in Europe?  Or is the dumbest, laziest, dirtiest nation in Europe just trying to keep up with the brits?  Hard to say.  If they all start riding around naked on their bicycles we’ll have our answer.

11.   Ferrets attack more people than grizzly bears.   I know this is true because I saw it on a mountain dew commercial.

12.  My dentist wants 4 digits to work on my teeth.  Thats not so bad.  I just won’t buy gas this week.

13.    Its over.  For the 39th time in 3 days its over.  I haven’t figured out what it is yet, but I’m not defecating what looks like thick lemonade anymore, so i think its a good thing.

14.  You have just wasted 10 minutes of your day if you read all of this.   Thats assuming that if you’re reading this you have to sound out the long words, and read while moving your lips.  You should maybe do something else now.

15.   Remember….you can’t change anything.  You have no power.  Control is only an illusion, and your life is slowly spiralling into the fiery pits of hell.  Chaos will rule supreme in your existence, and life will never be as good for you as it was yesterday.  That being said, you still as a species are amusing as hell.  Please continue.

according to spellcheck I didn’t mispell anything.  Find a deep hole and pray.  Armageddon is upon us.

suck your thumb

     I try to be moderate in my viewpoints.  I also try to curtail my opinion when I disagree with something someone else does or says.  I almost never comment on other writers, because….well….a lot of them are idiots, and you don’t make any friends calling people idiot.

     Michelle Malkin….you are an idiot.  You may be cute, but you’re still an idiot.   I read one of this wenches articles today, and I came away with this utterly amazed feeling.  Not at the depth of her persuasive ability.  Not at her obvious astuteness.  i was amazed that the Washington Times actually paid this overeducated elitist to write this swill.

     Seems Michelle is a little worried that all the allah lovers are teaching their kids to kill whitey, and were teaching ours to be wussies.  Its quite true.  Thats almost exactly whats happening.  In middle America.  In the public schools of our suburbs, maybe.  The muslims do teach their children about Jihad from the time they pull em off the camels teat.  They’ve been doing it for generations.  War in the middle east is like saturday cartoons here.  They keep getting worse, and they never end.

     I guess where my problem comes in is in wondering what we should do.  Help me out Michelle.  Shall we have M-16 training in kindergarten?  Should all our politicians rattle the sabre?  Can you see Ron Paul threatening anyone? “Be vewwwy vewwy quiet….wewe hunting muswims…..hehehehehehehehe.”  

      I don’t think I want my children trained to hate anyone.  I’ll grant our schools suck.  I’d go so far as to say the government wastes almost every tax dollar they sink into the public schools.  I live in the inner city though.  All I can say is I’d pit my streetwise scumbags against the ayatollahs assholes any old day.  The kids in my neighborhood don’t lack for balls, and the kids in Michelle’s neighborhood aren’t going to fight our wars anyway. 

    So do me a favor you wafer thin sorority sister nitwit.  Move your column to the society page, or talk some sense.  

http://washingtontimes.com/commentary/mmalkin.htm   michelle’s blithering idiocy in print.

 ok, I don’t try….so what.
 

Faith, Love, and the Art of Politics

    Like Baskin Robbins, politics has a flavor of the day.  In the republican party, or rather for a fringe element of them its Ron Paul.  For the Democrats, it changes like I change socks.    For all concerned, the flavor is faith, and how sweet it is to broadcast your beliefs on all the cable network news shows.  I was watching tonight; (and I confess to ignoring most of it), the three top candidates from the democrats discussing their faith on CNN’s faith forum.

    Here I should point out that I have a lackadaisical attitude toward faith.  I have faith, but I limit it to those things that are almost certain to happen whether I believe they will or not.  Like the sun coming up, my children asking for $150.00 shoes, or me hurling if I chase my tequila with a vicodin.   Its not a spiritual thing with me.  I do pray though.  I like to think of it as chatting with Ted.  It usually goes something like this.

Me: Uh, lord?

God:  I told you to call me Ted.

Me:  Yeah, but it feels a little wierd.

God:  I’m god, your wierdness isn’t my problem.

Me: true.

God: so what’s up?

Me: The usual.  I’m confused about you really.

God:  Do tell?

Me:   Well, what is it you do?

God:  I’m omnipotent.

Me:  Do tell?

God:  I can do anything.

Me:  Really?  Like cure aids?  end famine? stop wars?

God:  I could do all those on a slow Tuesday.

Me: really?!?!  Then why don’t you?

God:  I gave man free will.  If you folks want it fixed…. fix it.

Me:  (thinks)  ok, so what do you do?

God:  I’m omnipotent.

Me:  But what does that entail?

God:  I created the universe in 6 days.  Then took a day off.

Me: Then what?

God:  (thinks)  I had immaculate conception with Mary, then 33 years later I gave my only begotten son that man would be saved.

Me: from what?  Saved from what?

God:  Nobody ever asked that before…I’ll ruminate on it.

Me:  Then what?

God:  Then nothing.  I’m waiting.

Me:  For what?

God:  For man to love his fellow man, for the rich to care for the poor, for the church to care for the unsaved, for all mankind to love one another.

Me:   You got hopes.

God:  Nope.  I have a hammock, a never ending six pack, and you to pick on.

Me: sounds like a good gig.

God: Works for me.

Me: no kiddin.  So just one more question?

God: shoot?

Me:  What do you think of the candidates for the 2008 election?

God:  I think I need a beer.

Me: Oh, me too.  Thanks a bunch Ted.  Can you hold my coat?