The more things change…

September 11, 2007

     Having been on this planet longer than most dirt, I’ve come to realize that in the short run very little changes.  We expand on theme’s, throw our effort into perfecting the imperfectable, and chase dreams that defy all logical purpose.  We have this incredible need to know more, to do more, and be more than the generation that came before, and to be honest im many ways we fail at it.

    Politics, as you’ve probably figured, is one of my favorite areas of this failing, and the answer to why we fail here is so obvious it’s almost derivative.  In so many things, there really isn’t a litmus test, but I have one that I use on myself.  Would I fire me?  Seems trite, but you’d be surprised how often I find that I would.  It’s a test that we should apply to our politicians.  If you performed at the level that your elected officials perform would you expect to be fired?

   If your answer wasn’t a resounding hell yes, go soak your head.  Now here’s the rub.  It is almost never the Presidents fault, and that includes this time.  Seldom is a president charismatic enough to move things through sheer force of will.  The most disingenuous thing in politics right now is the democrats whining “he lied to us.”  I’m sorry, he can’t lie to you if you were to lazy to read the official reports, as Hillary Clinton has admitted.  I’ll grant that there are several thousand pages, but it also seems sort of important, and maybe she should have took a look, so to speak.

    It was brought to my attention today, that of the last 27 years of presidents, only George Bush senior hasn’t obviously violated either the constitution, or the criminal code.  Ronald Reagan and Geroge Bush were both knighted, ostensibly a violation of the no foreign titles clause, and Bill Clinton is a confessed perjurer.  This doesn’t mean they were failures.  George Bush has performed well under difficult circumstances.

authors note:  i consider being a hand puppet and brain dead difficult circumstances.

He has however kept the nation afloat during a war, and fighting an economy that was declining, and altogether shattered by 9/11.  Do I like him?  Nope.  Do I hate him?  Nope.  I occassionally pity him though.

   Bill Clinton managed to sign into law most of the Contract with America, made it very difficult to receive welfare, signed NAFTA into law, and made big business and special interests a full partner in running the country.  In short, he was a heinously deficient liberal that still commands massive popular support with that party.  The Republicans should make him their honorary lord and master, but getting oral sex demonized him with the party that should have loved his policies.

    George senior fought a war, won a war, and left a war on the table.  4 years isn’t a long time to make a huge mark with a divided congress, and he didn’t.

    Ron was charismatic.  He was also really well coached, and he changed America, and the world .  Very few presidents can say that they changed the country they led.  He was probably the most productive president of our time, and whether you like him or hate him it’s hard to dispute.

  In other words, for 28 years we’ve enjoyed presidents doing what they do.  For that same 28 years we have watched congress flounder around like a piglet runt seeking hind tit.  Other than a couple years with Newt Gingrich at the helm, congress has been rudderless for 3 decades.  The current batch may be the worst.  I’m willing to bet the rest of this years pay that the democrats don’t end the war in Iraq this year.  Why?  they don’t believe it is the right thing to do, and they lack the balls to do what they told the people they would do.

  You wish to fix it?  Vote for Ron Paul.  Heh-Heh.  I was kidding.  If you want your country back.  If you want a government run based on compassion for the populace they serve, then refuse to vote for any incumbent.  Refuse to vote for any currently seated official running for higher office.  “pour les encouragemant des outres”  To encourage the others.  The next bunch won’t perform like this bunch if they know you won’t vote for them.

   Elected officials are only responsive to the public if it pays attention, and takes responsibility.  Your responsibility in this matter is to fire non-responsive employees, and to replace them with those who will enforce your will.  Based on the track record of the organization in question, not a single person should retain their seat past their next election.  The ball really is in your court.

Electoral college change could benefit Republican candidates

August 7, 2007

   This is one you liberals better get up in arms about in a hurry.  Imagine if  the popular vote winner in a state didn’t get all the electoral votes.  Instead, suppose that the winner in each congressional district won a portion of them.  Instead of an automatic 55 electoral votes going to the Democrats in the state of California, it were split, more fairly along party lines.

   Well, if a ballot initiative in California goes through that’s exactly what will happen, and the Democrat candidates will find it much harder to win the election.

Before you scream foul though, Democrats are trying to do the exact same thing in North Carolina.  Watching politics is more fun than football.

College republicans, just like their elders

August 6, 2007

Because today I happen to be more disgusted with the right than the left, I felt I would toss out this little tidbit.  You may have already seen it, but these fine young medically challenged republicans are the leaders of tomorrow.  they are so reminiscent of the leaders of today, and man it makes you nastolgic for the old days

I'm not going to tag this the way i probably should.  I'm going to stick to honesty on this one.

ok, i'm tired of tagging it...but i have at least a million more.

Why Ron Paul is not a loony old man

August 6, 2007

    Which is what I heard him described as.  Interestingly enough by a political blogger I tend to respect, overlooking the fact that he supports that loony middle aged man, Mitt Romney.  You read a lot here about why I think Ron Paul is the wrong man for the job.  You also read a lot here about what a pack of moronic orangutans the pauliacs are.  You do not however read any particular disrespect for the man himself.

    The reason for that is on so many issues he is dead right.  Not the little ones…abortion, gun control,  drug legalization, and all the other little niche issues that are rolled out every few years so we can delineate between the idiot and the cow dung that we have to choose from.  On a lot of the big ones though the man is not wrong.

What kind of a hose monkey thinks we don’t need stronger borders?

Who in their right mind supports our current foreign policy agenda, and can’t find sense in a policy of non-interventionism?  Of not going to war unless congress declares war?

Who doesn’t think our government wastes way to much money?  Is it really more important to fight a war in Iraq than to rebuild an infrastructure  that is aging as quickly as the population.

Do you really support the major trade agreements currently shaping the  U.S. economic collapse?  Don’t tell me about the stock market here you dolt.  Tell me about Trade imbalance and deficits.

Further, if he didn’t couch it in terms of states rights I would wholeheartedly support this loony old man.  My problem is I don’t think the states have any more right to dictate to my daughter whether she can have an abortion or not.  It is, to all you idiots that are pro life…none of your  business.  It’s hard fr me to understand a party that is so much more concerned about the unborn than it is about the currently living.

   It is an unfortunate reality that I am not represented by the clowns on the right. or the jokers on the left.  Ron Paul is currently the only candidate that should make sense to anyone in the middle, and unfortunately he is about as electable as a drag queen.  More’s the pity. 

This is not an endorsement of Ron Paul.  I think allowing the young to opt out of Social Security is a stupid idea designed to appease his young voters.  I think a whole host of his other ideas are the wrong cure for the current problem.  What makes him better than the rest of the perfectly coiffed, properly crowned nitwits on that stage today was he at least recognizes the problems we face.

The YouRtubes debates, revisited

July 28, 2007

    So the new hue and cry is the Republican candidates are scared to debate on YouTube.  I for one do not blame them.  I think from a strategic standpoint those candidates currently refusing to attend the debate do so with a level of acute awareness often missing in the politicians of today.

   Before the debate has even started Mitt Romney is being accused of saying that he thinks it’s undifnified to be questioned by the general public.  The fact that he said nothing close to this is irrelevant because YouTubes have a huge problem with reading comprehension, and think that cesspool the other night was a fine example of democracy at work.  What he said was he thought (I paraphrase) the office of president should be held to a higher level than to have to be asked questions by a snowman.  I concur.  Ratings are important to CNN, and since it is their editors that chose the questions we have to assume that ratings came into play when choosing the snowman question.  I’m quite sure one of the other 3000 questions could have addressed global warming just as well.  Some level of decorum should be maintained, and lets face it, the global warming snowman was as much about ratings as the psychopath with the assault rifle.

   Additionally, the benchmarks in Iraq debate will be in full roar in September, and this is almost certainly the reason those not electing to attend have chosen that course of action.  Contrary to what this mullet has to say:

Added state Republican spokeswoman Erin VanSickle: “It’s an important debate in an important battleground state that just moved its primary to Jan. 29th. In other words, we have every confidence that they will attend. They can’t afford not to.” (same link as above). 

While I’m sure Florida will be important, it always is, I don’t think being swamped with questions about their Iraq positions will be good for any of the candidates.  McCain has chosen to attend, as has Ron Paul.  McCain needs a metaphoric homerun to win, and Ron Paul is on the right side of the war issue.  Hard to blame either of them.  The rest are not desperate enough to go to Florida and be sandbagged by CNN.

   It’s not about you tube, although the wretchedly insipid crowd hanging out in the political arena there are absolutely sure there voice is the only one that matters.  What matters is that several little CNN gnomes will be picking and choosing the questions, and quite likely stuffing the clip box as they do so.  It’s not hard to imagine some little editor having a buddy send in a sleeper clip that they can smear a Republican candidate with.  How about in the interest of fairness we have a FOXNEWS/ debate? 

    I’m not raising a conspiracy theory here.  CNN has long been known for its softballing interviews with democratic leaders while hammering away at conservatives.  It’s easy to se it happen when you think both liberals and conservatives are worng, but I may be the only person left that believes that. The debate for the democrats barely touched on Iraq because quite simply thats not news at a democratic debate.  They all profess desire to be out of the war, and everyone knows they aren’t doing anything about it.  The republicans on the other hand primarily support some form of presence in Iraq, and I would surmise that based on the timing of the debate, CNN has every intention of using the benckmarks as a club to wield at the candidates.

    Smart move Romney, Giuliani, Thompson, et al.  No point putting your head in a noose today in hopes of being reincarnated in time for the elections.

stumbling off toward armageddon

June 29, 2007

   Ted would be proud.  i used a biblicalish word.  This kind of ties in with all the posts I’ve written about alli and health, ron paul and insanity….er….states rights and why he won’t happen, and my occassional semi-dull normal discourses on politcs and history.  Ok, it probably won’t by the time I’m done here, but at least I pulled a good lie off in the first sentence.  Thats good writing.

    I’m not sure if its historically all that accurate, but I believe the funny little guys that talk to themselves and have incredibly boring symposiums have named a whole crap load of ages.  The bronze age, the iron age, the latex age(sextoys we’re perfected here…good stuff) and so on.  the only three I’m concerned with are the last three, which I’ve taken the liberty of naming quite creatively the transportation age, the communication age, and the information age.  Now these all overlap and there is quite possibly no scientific way of stating that these are even real ages.  It’s possible they all are, and someone else named them all way before me.  It’s not plagiarizing because I haven’t read anything heavier than Calvin and Hobbes in about three decades.  I just have to have names so I can whip out my conspiracy theory on how man in general has conspired to destroy everything, and how much fun I think its going to be.

authors note:  i”m not generally a conspiracy theorist.  In order to have a conspiracy you have to have a meeting of the minds between two or more individuals, and I’ve always been a little more than sceptical that you can randomly select two people that even have intellect.

    So anyway, sometime back around the stone age the automobile was invented  ( I don’t have a link.  Watch the damn flintstones if you don’t believe me). Tiring of using manpower, and beasts of burden to mobilize our conveyances some dude came up with the internal combustion engine. ( Oh shut the hell up…i know I skipped several stages.  I’m trying to keep this short and if you haven’t caught on yet I’m not exactly planning to seek peer review on this treatise). 

Ok, yaddayaddayadda, and so on and so forth and we get massive pollution from all these gas guzzling monstrosities used to transport one tiny not really all that necessary piece of human excrement hither and yon.  i’m back on track, lets go with it.  So we got pollution, and we got rich folks who are making a gazoodle of money off destroying the atmosphere.  I’m not really getting into a global warming thing here so if you turned off your favorite ultraliberal rant blog to read this take your al gore hugging ass back where you came from.  Pollution, bad air…lets move on to communication.

    this ones tougher because to give it any real play you have to cover such well known inventors and sodomites as al bell, sam morse etc.  I’m not going to.  I’m just going to point out  the end result.  We can criss cross the globe with our voices in nanoseconds linking anyone to anyone else quicker than a catholic nymphomaniac nun gets an orgasm from playing with her crucifix (woohoo….insulted the catholics…crosses it off my list).  Now we all know each other and aren’t we a great big full of shit happy new world order. We got black berries and cellphones and pagers are already outdated, and tom tom’s (i dated suesue….not bad, but she kept telling me where to turn).  shooot tomtom’s come next.  I’m not moving it.

    Bring on the information age.  little cards that dump everything we do into massive computers in the basement of the state department.  New technology that can rape every bit of info off the pictures we store online.  Virtual reality becoming so real I can masturbate without touching myself.  (I’d put another woohoo here, but I kind of enjoy the physical intimacy I bring to the table).

   So, we now have an environment fast becoming so intolerable that we are only going to  be able to spend moments a day outside without proper protection.  By that I mean big reflective space man suits.  A trip to the market will cause melanoma.  Communication devices that can send almost any type of information we want anywhere, and information devices so complex and complete that we can take a trip to the Great wall of china without ever leaving the living room.

We’ve decided to destroy everything so we have a reason to stay home. so that we don’t have to interact.   Well, not all of us.  i think its all a right wing conspiracy. 

We’re much easier to control if we can’t be outside, and in order to keep us in we need the means to communicate, and information to entertain. Virtual reality will replace the family vacation, and the blow up rubber love doll i have in the… well, it will be replaced by some 12million gigabyte hobag that would make a phillipino hooker blush.

Fucking republicans.  Anything to keep us from screwing.

the link to the story about the photgraph comment.  I find this perilously close to corporations overstepping their bounds, but I’m not all that fond of you tube either…thanks for the link amuirin.

I’m not sure what any of the above says.  i gotta stop chasing my tequila with vicodin

Alli, Ron Paul, and the blog week

June 24, 2007

  Well it was kind of an interesting week here in criminyland.   I learned a bit, laughed a bit, and deleted a hell of a lot of comments.  I want you to know if you are one of those I deleted, it was either you were not creative enough in your profanity, not strident enough in your zealotry, or my dyslexic fingers hit the wrong little circle.  Asta, Brian, my disloyal fingers kept your snarky remarks from appearing on the August pages of this blog.  My apologies.

   I feel I should clarify one more time since it apparently hasn’t manged to insinuate itself through the layers of fat surrounding the frontal lobes of my Alli readers.  Nothing that makes you shit yourself in public is worth doiing this to yourself.  Try to liken it to what Angelina Jolie and Meg Ryan have done to their lips.  It won’t make you better.  It’ll just make more people point to your ass and whisper.  While I agree being overweight is a mojor health issue facing our nation, I can’t help but feel the feeding frenzy I’ve seen over this drug is 90% cosmetic.  I get it.  Your self esteem sucks because you are over weight right? Wrong.  You care so much about what society thinks that you feel bad about yourself. Get over it.  Nothing wrong with a few  rubenesque curves.   The anorexic look so touted by hollywood and the new york runways is not all that attractive.  I suppose homosexual pedophiles find it appealing, but we have congress and prison for people like that.  Good luck on your weight loss, and quit thinking there is a safe easy way to do it.

   I’ve posted some well thought out comments by Ron Paul fans.  I’ve also thrown out several pabst induced diatribes of no social merit.  I found this site to be well written, though I disagreed with him quite strenuously

He proves all ron paul fans are not imbeciles.  another site worth a look is

another Ron Paul fan is Ms. Liberty, and if you like the little video clips she’s good for it.

   On the funny front, you really need to take a look at this fella.  He takes a look at a lot of things from daily life and puts a smile on the face of em.

    For all my liberal friends, and for you conservatives that can laugh at yourself I found a blog that is quite informative.  The only problem you’ll have is if you’re thin skinned.  They put blood in the water early and often in the comments sections.  Asta starts with verbal evisceration  and works backwards from there….fun place

   Out of the blog I managed to get in a late night poker game the other night.  My ride arrived at 10:30 pm saying I don’t knw what that funny thumping sound is.  Amazingly, and you’ll want to know this for future reference, when the air goes out of one of your tires it doesn’t improve the smoothness of the ride.  by the time I fixed it and we drove to the poker game it was almost 1a.m. and the other pasteboard combatants were well and truly drunks.  Here’s another tip.  If you play for money…play against drunks.  Its not even gambling.  I won a little over 100 bucks in about an hour and a half.  Nothing like stealing money from your acquaintances to make you feel good about yourself.

  The horseback ride lasted several hours longer than I preffered.  We had 23 people.  20 of which had never even put a saddle on a horse before.  Add to that it was raining, and my horse despising ass was one unhappy fella.  The horse I was given was named insaba oton which is some indian dialect and means i will smash your head with my hooves and grind your bones to mush as i stomp on your worthless human corpse.  Ir wasn’t even really a horse.  I’m almost certain it was a detusked elephant.  I don’t know if you know this or not, but when a horse won’t take the bit, they have this little pliers doohickey…i think its called a snaffle.  Anyway, you squeeze there upper lip with it and twist, thereby making the horse open its mouth.  Didn’t work with mine.  Whatever synapse was supposed to occur misfired and it made the equine godzilla stand up. I being of good character and having a pure heart was unafraid, and refused to let go.  This friggin throwback wooly mammoth lifted me 4 feet off the ground.  With his lip.  I spent the remainder of the day bouncing around in abject terror on the  back of dumbo, and plotting revenge on gordon. 

    That was the good part of the weekend.  The bad part is coming up.  I have to take my daughter to the mall….clothes shopping. ” i would rather die a thousand deaths.”  Robert E. Lee’s words fit nicely I think.

p.s.  I didnt see the words “uber” or “plethora” on any blogs I went to.  Proving bloggers can be taught.

sunday is for random thoughts #3

June 24, 2007

1.  Imagine my chagrin when I started to listen to classical music and found out it was played on all my favorite cartoons.

2.  Horse tastes a lot like cow.

3.  We should ban all hunting.  it is much more fun to watch animals die of starvation and disease caused by overpopulation.

4.  I wish the government would let me pick what to spend the 1 out of 3 dollars of my earnings that they snatch from me on.  I’d buy a bomb for fallujah.

5.     Droopy, woody woodpecker, and atom ant could so kick sponge bob’s, dexter’s, and chuckie’s asses.

6.    If you treat everyone the way they treat you, you will spend a lot of time alone.

7.  The blog definition of troll is “someone who doesn’t agree with every idiotic thing you think.”

8.  80 American soldiers have died in Iraq in June.  I have no idea how many have died in car accidents, in gun violence, in domestic situations, of diabetes, of cancer, of cirrhosis, of suicide, of drug overdoses, of neglect, of starvation, in work related accidents, or simply by falling.  While all of these are certainly higher numbers, no news organization see’s fit to give me a daily count.

9.    John Stewart and Stephen Colebert have exactly the same reasons to lie to us a Wolf Blitzer and Storm Davis.  They get paid based on popularity.

10.   Cynicism is the commingling of intellect and experience.  If you aren’t cynical you lack one or the other.

11.   Never loan someone money.  If you care enough to loan it to them give it to them.  It saves a lot of frustration.

12.   A loyal dog is a better companion than a disloyal mate.

13.   I’m not sure what that is, but I have an incredible desire to dip my scrotum in it.

14.   If you took the collective good deeds of all the candidates for president and put them in a pile, and then took the net worth of the same group….which would you rather leave to your children?

15.  You have it real good if you’re one of the millions that spend time at work doing non-work oriented things on your computer.  Any reasonable boss would fire you.

16.   You will sometime in the future be lied to by a friend, cheated on by a mate, disrespected by your progeny, or abused or neglected by those who are responsible for your care.  Ain’t life a bitch?

17.   working hard is not half as prosperous as screwing people over, but you can look at yourself in the mirror without saying “damn I’m good.”

18.  Don’t be so angry, so hurt, so despondent.  Doin’t let others change how you see yourself. Don’t join the herd of lemmings you see crossing before you, and never doubt your ability to make a difference.  Now get the hell out of here.  I’m out of random thoughts for today.

postscript:  don’t forget to contact your congresman at   Ron Paul and most other conservatives voted against it, meaning it has to be good for working americans.

Ron Paul is not a god

June 20, 2007

   and all you heathens are not prophets.  You are however likely as not the same quack- pots that raised The Ross Perot banners lo those many years ago, ushering in the decade of the over serviced gland.  We the people thank you.  Ol Bill did ok by todays standards, and it was the Ross Perot mercenaries that made it possible.

   I think what I like most about the repeat of this scenario that a weaselly but slightly strong Ron Paul candidacy could create, is the thought of you self righteous sonuvabitches sittin there with your head in your hands, your lite beer lying between your fat feet having your first real thought in 2 years , WHAT HAPPENED?

     Lemme hook you up with some reality.  You happened you ignorant walking piles of mucous.  You happened.  You and your 1 million strong ilk of blog writing,  teeth gnashing, mildly retarded Ron Paul fanatics.  do the math….1 million don’t win…never has you annally retented hillbillies wishing for some good old days that never existed.  You mush mouffed scumsucking, tail wagging maladjusted purveyors of hopeful insanity.

Now for some more sanity for you refugees from the idiot bin.  who do you think is funding this awesome putsch on the internet?  Ron Paul is like “whatta fug is happening?  Its the lefties you wienie spanking troglodytes.  They love ron paul.  They love him because they remember Ross Perot.  

   I don’t mind.  I’m not for or against anyone right now.  what I do know is most my Ron Paul hits come from gun-toting conservatives to dumb to realize all ron does is splits the party.

I tire

June 15, 2007

of writing about Ron Paul.  I’ve posted the website for you.  I’ve even broke it down for you.  None of it seems to matter.  So now I will try a different tack.

Can Ron Paul be an effective president?  The answer of course is no.  He can be a republican president, or he can waste four years sitting in a nice cushy chair in a room with an average view, and almost round walls.  The man has a very limited constituency.  He’s another Texan.  This means deep in his heart he has Texan values. Erm, so does George Bush.

   Nobody can shrink government.  At least not briskly, and for all you states rightsers (like that word), remember that was the battle cry of the confederacy.  Thats what the civil war was all about.  Good old honest Abe saw sedition as a killing blow to the US of A, and he used slavery as a means to put states rights to bed forever.  Damn good of him, too.

   While I think Rich Paul makes some very good points about how having statehouses controlling things would minimize damage, but I think what it would really end up being is the federal government rescuing states piecemeal from the ineptitude of their leadership.  This could probably be avoided somewhat if we required voters to prove an awareness of the issues, but thats not going to happen.

    In affect, a vote for Ron Paul would be much like a vote for Ross Perot.  What it could do is ensure a democratic presidency, which isn’t such a horrible consideration.  I like laughing at liberals as they muck about in matters they know little about almost as much as conservatives